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Wednesday, May 18

Bonnaroo after Ten Years of Questionable Improvements finally Hit a Home Run with Indoor Plumbing and 300 Real Toilets.

Bonnaroo after Ten Years of Questionable 
Improvements finally Hit a Home Run with Indoor Plumbing and 300 Real Toilets

   I am from Memphis where I learned to talk the jive. You can only imagine my shock when the first Bonnaroo was announced three hours away from my house. The inaugural year was the experience of a lifetime and the music is legendary.
  I mean Houser showing up literally on his deathbed to shine one last weekend in front of 70,000 music lovers is the stuff of fiction.The Keller Incident transcended what I thought musical possible. But moe. starting the (now) traditional late night set with a 4 hour marathon show complete with a Cracker "Like Being High" cover at sunrise. The next three events only improved as the Jam Bands they came around.  I believe the fourth year when The Dead headlined with Jimmy Herring and Warren Haynes tore up two sets of magic. Dark Star>Shine On You Crazy Diamonds>Dark Star should be all the explanation one needs.
    Then Bonnaroo became Bankaroo and some rapper kicked Phil Lesh off the stage. Check please! Big Business did what they do best, ruin a special event so it could make more money and serve their shitty music agenda. 
   Bonnaroo is still a bucket list festival that every music fanatic should and usually makes one pilgrimage in their life. If you embrace the diversity and not fight the ghost of festival pasts,  it's still a circus that few musical spectacles can compare much less compete. 
     The Tennessean recently spoke to Bonnaroo's co-curator Rick Farman about the biggest news that affects a festival since Woodstock's Brown Acid warnings. If you have never been let's just say it's in the middle of nowhere. But Bankoroo now offers Indoor plumbing. That is correct folks three hundred real toilets that you flush the brown down. Gone are the mornings you run to the port a potties and are dry heaving while you hopefully only have to go number One. Before I started getting media passes and was shown what lurks behind the curtain, I used to eat a dozen anti diarrhea pills and attempted to not drop a deuce for four days. It worked ninety percent of the time and the other ten percent was always adventurous but far from sanitary. 

(Photo: Adam Macchia)

    The festival invested in a major water line that runs into the massive festival grounds. It enabled them to build two fully functional bathrooms. Each one has 150 toilets each and 58 more water stations. They also built three new shower buildings, but who will use them when you have toilets and wooks remains to be seen. Rick Farmen said it was easily the biggest complaint from the attendees. So they figured it would be a great place to start spending all that investment capital. They are excited they will be ready this year. I bet there is 40,000 females even more stoked than Rick. Well played Bonnorro! This is the kind of change I imagined when Barack took office. The next investment should be some trees in the cow pastures where general admission camps and their tents reach 100 degrees by 5:00 a.m. But as we all learn everybody pays to play. Now we can only assume that they will be free. But Bankoroo did not receive that nickname by passing out coupons. The future had finally arrived, fuck flying cars. 
The Farm has Indoor plumbing and is a month away. 
By Kevin Long